drat! Well, I'll have to re-think my plan of a pretty little site for my blog. I do have other ideas, however, but we'll see. For now, I have to blow up more transistors

*jumps with glee*

Right, we have the updated format - what ya think?

It may be a little on the dark side, but I reckon it could be lots worse. Miss Dirtyflowergirl has opened my eyes to how I go about allowing any general passer-by to leave a comment. So, soon, when I'm not supposed to be fixing numerous problems and having to face the fact that I'm not half as good as I want to be or believe I should be, I shall register for that thingamebob., Also, shall see if I can get the alternative (prettier) version of this page running on my main website.

Thinking about it, that could do with redesigning too. Still, one abuse of company property at a time eh?

Hi y'all. I'm back!

Anyone miss me?

What? you didn't know i was gone. Well, thanks for the thought.

hehe

What was my point? Oh yes, work has got a little better since talking about things more openly. Seems common sense really, but like I say - common sense is rarely obvious until pointed out.

I've designed a new look blog (since I, erm, destroyed my template in a fit of anger) and it should appear whenever I remember to bring a disk to work with the template on.

I'm gonna carry on with lunch now, but just wanted to keep everyone informed. Not that many people read this. Not that it matters. Not that I care.

Bye bye :-)

Work this week has been hell. I have been within a hairs breadth of hitting one of my colleagues. I settled for a controlled shout. I haven't been this near the edge in a long time. I have just felt like I'm failing miserably at everything I do at work.

I emailed uni this time. They said thankyou for letting them know. Since then, nothing much has happened.

Mark and Lard are leaving radio 1 in case you didn't know already. They leave at the end of this month. Mark is off to Radio 2 in the Autumn, Lard is off to 6 music in April.

I'm not feeling as worn down today as I have been all week. I've been watching back to back episodes of Red Dwarf on the new DVD's I've bought. They've brought a lot of comfort to me: Made me smile and want to do stuff for a change.

Now I've got that off my chest I feel a bit better.

*big sigh*

time to be condesending.

I knew this would happen.

Which is applicable to everything right now. I predicted it, and now it has happened. i keep records. It's there in blue and white. Swirly lines coming together to produce letters, which in turn create words. Words are powerful, that's why words should be left to professionals.

Pending further developments, LHEonline will be closed as of now. I'm too drained for such fuss.

Well? What can I say. I could be condesending, I could just as easily be insulting. But now is not the time.

Everyone has their own way of doing things. This might disrupt others for a while, but there is no need for publicity.

I've noticed that there are the kinds of people who get a bit distracted from the original cause and I can't help but feel that all this is not helping.

Just stop.

Think.

Everyone has a right to a point of view, just remember it works both ways.

This has all been handled so badly. Although it is not my fault, I feel guilty.

I am aware of what kind of response this will receive. I could be suprised - I don't know everything.

Yes the event is sad, a loss. But look past that. Look at the reasons. Look at their own thoughts. Look at why, at their feelings on the issue. See the bigger picture. And then put yourself in those shoes and think seriously, then think some more.

Please.

See past your own beliefs, question your beliefs. Then go back to the problem with a new understanding. Then say something worth saying.

I have been following this story quite closely. I have kept my silence despite annoyance, guilt and various other emotions all fighting for control of my fingers.

But now I must break that silence and be quite controversial. But first, I have to say thank you to "behindanonymity". You are well balanced and considerate, you're tolerance for people intefering has been admirable.

I don't for one second want you to take your life, but I have been convinced that it is your only option. While I don't know you personally, I can see past the things others are seeing. Their efforts are misguided, and I apologise sincerely for any part I played.

I remember a song lyric:
"you only see what your eyes want to see"
I can't help but feel cynical about the help of others. I'm not sure of their personal motives.

And now look what's being written. Now on the defensive. This is not fair.

So what if it sounds like I'm encouraging this whole thing?! I'm not encouraging it, I'm not saying it's a good idea. I'm saying I've accepted it as the only idea. Why is that wrong?

Saying this to a depressed person would be a manor of encouragment. But does behindanonymity seem depressed to you? Tired, yes, but if they can be successful on so many levels - how can it be depression.

Please, see what's there. Don't see certain words in a line - see the whole sentence. Take into account it's context.

I'll write more later, when I've calmed down a bit. I feel I'm saying too much in the wrong way.