hi!

well, panic stations yesterday. Woke up to discover that I'd mis-calculated the weeks i had until exams. So not only have I done very little revision, but my first exam is thursday. i couls scream "shit" a few thousand times, but I wont. im tryin to stay calm. Its better for my health. Though not a lot is gonna get rid of this aching in my stomach. Ive also missed the hand-in date for my final assignment. Which, and I'm not sure about this, I could get away with if I do well in the exam. I dont think every assignment needs to be done anymore. Well, I guess I'll find out soon.

Heshe is FINALLY moving out today. yes - moving out! I couldnt believe the txt msg I got. (housemate 3 was asking permission to break into my room to get It's ironing board back). So i said yes it can. But, and I dont think she's asked about this, I still have a load of her stuff. well, chopsticks, matrix video. Poossibly a few other bits n bobs. And she better not nick any of my stuff! not that theres much lyin around the house that belongsa to me. I think there's a Faculty video - which, incidently, I bought for my then gf and she didnt want it. Made no effort to even pretend. Just came straight out with it. Is it any wonder she's ex? Theres more, but it'll come out over time.

Im going home sunday now. was gonna go back today, but im avoiding heshe altogether. Dont really want to go back to Uni. Not with someone else living there. Even if the main problem has buggered off, the conditions wont be perfect. But it'll be bearable im sure. Must have faith in that else i'll get tearful again. So i'll be packing up the few things that I need to take back (room up at uni is practically empty already) today. Not a lot. Leaving laptop here. I'll only be gone till end of May. then it's house hunting in high wycombe!

Talking of that, someone ACTUALLY bothered to email me!!! I couldnt believe it! its only taken 3 weeks! its not like its time critical is it?! bloody hell! So, politely of course, im going to tell him to bugger off if he thinks he's lettin me do all the arranging. No easy rides here! Nope, im having a house to myself. I NEED a house to myself. My mind needs a house to itself. i need to recover. And for once in my life (possibly the first time) im doing what i want - not what's necessary.

Well, food time. there's more i want to say, but it'll have to wait. I havent said my big goodbyes either. but i will.