I can't sleep again.

That bloody bloke who wound me up last time rang again today. And wound me up. I have his name and company written down now, so next time he rings I can give him a taste of his own medicine. And that's what is running through my head... what I can say to him to tell him to f**k off in a polite yet unsubtle way.

So here I am, unable to sleep. So you know what I went and did? I went and drank a load of whisky out of the bottle. How piss-head am I?!

I am so fecking bored it's unbelievable. I can see why people turn to alcohol.

So to pass the time I was running through all the profiles of my friends on MSN messenger. You know what I noticed - I noticed that all my old schoolfriends whose company I still get to enjoy today was those who have a bit of a gothic / rock streak in them. Me feeling sorry for myself then feels like I've let the side down. But then me thinking with my head reminds me that image is nothing - it's whats inside that counts.

I want more to drink right now, I know I shouldn't, and I won't. I won't because my stomach hurts. It hurts like when I ate 5 of those slices of Jalepeno peppers in one go. that hurt.

I'm just incredibly bored and self doubting this morning. So please, ignore me when I say that I shouldn't rely on just one or one friends. It's not fair on them.

Dear God, look what a tit I'm making of myself. I should just delete this post and be done with it. But that wouldn't be right now would it?!